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oathkeeper-of-tarth · 7 months ago

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So, I'm curious: What's your take on Aylin's experience after/if she kills Lorroakan?

Allegedly, there's some information floating around somewhere that said Aylin was angry with Selune after she killed Lorroakan, but I can't find where this info is.

If you saw posts about that here on tumblr it was probably posted by @justanotherignot! I've actually been meaning to gather up all the devnote tidbits about Selûne from Aylin and Isobel for a while now, so thank you for the excuse to do so and ramble a bit.

Player: I was just wondering what it was like in that cage of Balthazar's. Aylin: Let us not dwell on those dark days. Their memory is a vortex within my heart that leads directly to the Hells.

What is happening is, well, it's the century of unthinkable horror catching up to her. It's the Trauma(TM) - in one of the conversation options she's literally triggered by the mention of someone being run through repeatedly! It's the growing awareness that although she's been freed (and possibly reunited with her love), the secret is out and there are always going to be assholes gunning for her, aiming to use her as an "artefact" and power source to fuel their ambitions, without any regard for her, you know... basic personhood and well-being. Also, Lorroakan was blatantly lying. He didn't find any super special way to siphon her immortality with "no harm, no pain of any kind", he was just replicating Balthazar's soul cage (you can even find a letter from Ketheric to him, showing Lorroakan was pestering them).

On to the stuff from the game files! First, the conversation with Aylin directly after the Lorroakan fight in the tower. I'm going to be putting the context notes in square brackets next to the lines they apply to. I also plucked some audio out from the files for some of these because I love the delivery.

Aylin: The fire-haired fool is dead. Yet as I stare upon his corpse, I feel… sadness. Why? [Slow and curious, angry and confused by all that has happened.] Player: What kind of sadness is it? / I know something of sadness - or at least the ballads do. What does it feel like? Aylin: A gripping in the chest. As though I'd lost someone, something. [Lost in thought for a moment; confused.] Aylin: A paladin's fatigue, no doubt. You were excellent in battle, as is your way. And I am proud to fight at your side. [Remembering herself. She is Dame Aylin.] Aylin: I will catch my breath, then to camp I will bring my bones. Moonmaiden be with you. Player: Smiting is a weighty duty - sometimes it can be tiring. / Perhaps smiting has lost its pleasures. Aylin: Say it can't be so. For I am Selûne's sword. And ever must be. [She means it, but on the periphery of her consciousness is a tiny crack. Wondering about her fate.]

The above never fails to get me - she is Dame Aylin! Sword of the Moonmaiden! Glorious immortal paladin, champion of a righteous cause! She smites evil-doers for breakfast, that's, like, her whole thing! What do you mean she can't just pick up where she left off and go about her merry smitey way? What do you mean the thing that is supposed to be the literal core of her entire being (forever) doesn't feel good and glorious anymore, but just makes her feel sad and empty? No, no, no, we can't have that.

Player: One of the greatest tragedies of revenge is that it can only be taken once. / Because you won't get to kill him again? Aylin: Perhaps. Yet if I could run him through a thousand times, I wonder-- [Lost in thought, she's been triggered to remember her own fate being run through over and over.] Aylin: Battle has tired my mind, made me susceptible to flights of fancy. You were excellent in battle, as is your way. And I am proud to fight at your side.

Aylin: I will return to camp shortly. I just need a moment to… to… [Lost in thought.]

She so very desperately needs some rest and a chance to come to terms with everything that happened and that was done to her. And it's clear it's going to be hard because she is defaulting to trying to deny anything is wrong, is clearly trying (and failing) to just be her old self immediately, has blatantly internalised a lot of that classic I Am A Sword stuff on top of everything (even though her mother is huge on free will and choice!), and is just really not well-equipped to handle any of this at all.

Next, this is the post-Lorroakan convo you get if you have both Aylin and Isobel in camp.

Aylin: Ah. Ally mine. We are reunited once more. [Warm, but drained. She's not feeling like herself.] Aylin: I was just regaling sweet Isobel with tales of our prowess. Isobel: Very impressive. Thank you for helping Aylin - that wizard sounded absolutely dastardly. [Good humored. Soft in tone. A little uncertain - she's not sure why Aylin isn't herself.] Player: My pleasure. He had it coming. Aylin: He did, and it came. Now, my friend: bask in your victory. I will do the same. Aylin: But fear not: when the time comes for you to face the foe of foes, Isobel and I will stand by your side. [Rallying her soldierly spirit, but still a little drained.] Isobel: We wouldn't miss it. Not for anything. Aylin: Go well, friend. We will see you soon. And with our great powers combined, this city will be saved. Player: Hopefully he'll be the last. Aylin: There are always more bastards behind bastards. But we will run through them all, each by each.

Player: I hope you can rest easy now, Dame Aylin. Aylin: I always do, with darling Isobel by my side. Aylin: Enjoy the spoils of your victory. Spin memories of Lorroakan's death in your mind like silkfloss.

If Isobel isn't there (meaning she died in Act 2), you get this version:

Aylin: Ah. Ally mine. We are reunited once more. [Warm, but drained. She's not feeling like herself.] Aylin: I was just reviewing our fight against foul Lorroakan; your moves and mine. The victory was soundly won. Aylin: Don't you think? [Uncharacteristically, Aylin is seeking input. She's usually so confident about everything, but killing Lorroakan has not had the intended effect on her.] Player: Indeed I do. Let his demise serve as a warning to anyone else who'd seek you out. Aylin: Let him be the last. If my dear mother has any mercy, she will ensure it. [Trying to stay her usual self, but her mask is cracking a tiny bit here. Privately, Aylin is dealing with a great deal of anger toward her mother, the goddess Selûne, But she's not yet willing to face it. How could her powerful mother let all this happen to her?]

Player: We fought well - though I was a little worried about you afterward, in truth. Aylin: Set your mind at ease, my friend. Dame Aylin is more well now than she has been this past century. [Good humored. Soft in tone. A little uncertain - it's true she's better now than she has been, but why does she feel so shitty, then? (She's in the beginning of reckoning with the trauma of what happened to her).]

Player: I hope you can rest easy now, Dame Aylin. Aylin: Yes. I wish for the very same. Aylin: Enjoy the spoils of your victory. Spin memories of our prowess in your mind like silkfloss.

So, a few things pop out for me here. First, you get the more explicit anger at Selûne if Isobel isn't there, as opposed to the "hahah, I will smite all the bastards who dare come after me, no matter how many there are" line. "How could her powerful mother let all this happen to her?" just... damn, hits hard, even if you subscribe to the theory that Selûne simply could not intervene in the Shadowfell imprisonment beyond sending those poor people whose graves you find in front of the mausoleum.

And here Aylin really lays it on thick with the denial that there's anything wrong at all. Combined with the letter you get from her in the epilogue if Isobel is dead, it just paints such a bleak, sad picture. I can just see her going all out on the Sword of Selûne duty-bound paladin side of things, no rest, no healing, no stopping even for a moment, no dealing with anything at all, from the trauma to the bitterness towards mum. Until whatever horrible breaking point comes, a year or a century from now. The need for Isobel's humanising influence is so clear. I've touched on Isobel's side of things here.

Speaking of having a bone to pick with Selûne, if you're playing as a cleric/paladin of Selûne, you can get some extra very honest dialogue with Isobel in Last Light:

Player: Why has the Moonmaiden waited until now to take an interest in this curse? Isobel: Maybe she was waiting for one of us to find this place ourselves. Free will, and all that.

Isobel: Though if it were my place to ask why she let Ketheric turn; why she allowed this village to rot at his hands - believe me, I would. [A cold edge in her voice]

Player: Are you faring all right? It can't be easy holding a lone candle in such darkness. Isobel: All things with her strength. You know the litany. [A little sarcastically. She's got a bone to pick with Selûne but isn't being too overt.]

Side note: the amount of devnotes for Isobel's lines that say she's delivering them "with swagger" and being "cheeky" makes me smile every time. Love her. Love her snark.

Also, to get it out of the way: no, I'm fairly sure Aylin did not break her oath. I see this brought up a ton and I just see no way for it to be the case. There is nothing to suggest this outside of a wording similarity and it just makes no sense. Girl is clearly some flavour of Oath of Vengeance (she uses Abjure Enemy, so this is the case even mechanically, even though she's obviously an NPC and not a standard player-build paladin) and she killed a very shitty guy who was also explicitly after her in godawful ways. You can do far worse things in the game than her dramatic speech and backbreaker and not break your OoV.

#sorry this took so long!#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #dame aylin #isobel thorm #lorroakan #datamine #voice lines #audio #i'm stopping myself here but i could go on about this FOREVER #time for the comfort part of the hurt/comfort let's goooooooooo #oathkeeper replies to things

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outromoony · 7 months ago

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Forgive me, Peter (is it something I did?)

Marauders microfic from Peter's POV | 2.2k words

ao3 link here

James was Peter's whole world when they were young.

The moment they met, Peter knew James was different from any other kid he'd ever met. He was kind, and didn't make fun of Peter because he didn't know how to play certain games or was in bad shape for sports. James was always so kind to him, so patient. They will spend hours and hours playing by themselves in James's garden because the other kids didn't want to play with Peter, but James said he preferred to play with him anyway.

They lived very close to each other; in fact, they were technically neighbors. Peter only took a six-minute walk from his house to James's, and they will see each other every day. James would show him everything he knew about Quidditch and discuss his favorite teams, and in return, Peter would teach him how to play chess and vent about his older siblings at home. And James will listen, he will always listen; and for the first time in his life, Peter felt like his voice deserved to be heard, that his opinions and feelings mattered to someone other than just himself and his own shadow.

That was, until they got on that train.

The Hogwarts Express was everyone's dream. Peter could remember his brother and sister talking about it nonstop when they came back from Hogwarts for their first break. Peter was excited about it, but it also made him anxious. When he received his letter, he couldn’t actually believe it at first. He knew he had magic since he was nine, but still, his aunts and brother loved to point out that it was weak, that even if he wasn't a squib, his magic would never be strong enough to even do anything relevant with it. Peter could not avoid feeling as if there had been a mistake, as if he didn't belong there. But just three feet away from him, there was James, smiling at him reassuringly and fondly as he awkwardly walked towards the train.

James had always been his anchor, the one and only person who could keep him grounded when he felt too low about himself. James would assure him he was wonderful, and that being his best friend was the best thing that had ever happened to him.

And James might have been Peter's anchor, but perhaps Peter had always been James's shackles.

The moment James met Sirius Black, Peter knew his relationship with James was never meant to last.

They were still friends, of course. James never wanted Peter to leave his side, and tried to get him into conversations. But Peter knew since the beginning of their Hogwarts journey, that Sirius was everything James wanted Peter to be, even if he never said it out loud.

Sirius was loud, that was the word that described him the best. He was loud, and so, so alive. And for Peter, who had always felt a little bit dead inside, that was like looking directly at the sun and getting a little blinded by its light. He tried, he really bloody tried, but he couldn't change who he was, how he felt, how he acted. No attempt was enough to get James to talk or look at him the way he did with Sirius Black.

When he was sorted into Gryffindor, he was so surprised that he tripped on his way to the Gryffindor table. Everyone clapped, and amidst all the loud noise, he could hear Sirius whistling and James shouting his name. Peter smiled nervously and sat between James and Remus. James gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder, and Remus just gave him a quiet nod. Peter didn't even look at Sirius when he called his name.

Peter Pettigrew had never been brave. He never felt like it, and his family reminded him every day how much of a coward he was. Since he could remember, he had always been afraid of making friends, and his parents needed to talk to the other kids for him to be able to have someone to play with. His siblings needed to force him to do new things like flying a broom, and his aunts scolded him when he refused to try new food. When he became friends with James, he became that force he needed to start opening up a little. James never forced anything into him, always respected his boundaries and tried showing him the light of life. He succeeded, of course, James always did; but when Sirius came into his life, that light started to banish little by little, wound by wound.

He knew from the beginning of his life that he would never be anyone's first choice. He knew it and accepted it. At least, he thought he did. His parents will always choose any of his siblings, just never him. His siblings will always choose each other, and James... oh, James. He really thought, for a period of time, that he was James's first choice, but now he realized that would never be the case, not while Sirius Black was still breathing.

He even tried getting close to Remus. The boy was quiet and liked reading. Peter initially thought that perhaps he was reserved with everyone, not just with Peter. But, fast enough, he realized that wasn't the case. Sirius, somehow, had broken that shield Remus always carried with him, cracked his mask, and got him into his most vulnerable human form. Remus loved Sirius, he loved him in a way Peter quite never understood, but again, he really never understood what was so special about Sirius Black that was leaving him completely alone, what was so special about him that he could just take everyone and everything away from him, even James.

He never intended to hurt him, to hurt any of them. Even after seven years of feeling like he was just something less than a sidekick for his friends, he still was something to them, at least he wasn't alone, at least James hadn't given up on him after everything. He never intended to do any harm, but Peter had always been weak, manipulable. The Dark Lord gave him what he had been craving his entire life, an opportunity to be someone, to do something important, to be someone's choice.

So he did it, he started working as a spy for the dark side. At first, it was alright— great, even. Voldemort chose him as one of his most loyal followers, he even sat next to him in the meetings with the rest of the Death Eaters. He felt like he was important, like he had done something right for the first time in his life, and for the look in Voldemort's eyes when he looked at him, he had.

The first time it actually hit him was when the news of the McKinnons reached his ears.

He had never been close to Marlene, not like Remus or James were, but he knew her; he knew her more than any of the people that had died in the war. He knew that her laugh was the loudest out of everyone in the Gryffindor tower, he knew she loved playing Quidditch just as much as James did, and that she loved reading some weird muggle books, which she would later recommend to Remus. He knew she loved music, especially rock, and she and Sirius would annoy everyone in the common room by singing and shouting lyrics left and right from their favorite rock bands. He may not have actually known her that well, but he saw her breathing and living for so many years, and because of him, she was dead.

He tried swallowing the feeling of guilt, tried pretending as if nothing had happened, and continued doing what the Dark Lord asked him to. That was the first time Peter actually realized how badly he had fucked up, and he was now trapped. He couldn’t back off now, but still, he couldn’t shake off the feeling that he was always meant to end up like this.

When the prophecy came, Peter was the first person Voldemort asked for information.

He wanted every possible location of the Potters, their schedules, any piece of information that could help him get to them. And for the first time since he had joined the Death Eaters, he lied to the Dark Lord.

That was probably the bravest thing Peter Pettigrew ever did in all his pathetic and miserable life. He lied, he lied about everything he knew, about every piece of information he had. He lied as much as he could, until he couldn’t anymore.

James and Lily now knew about the prophecy, and Dumbledore had sent them into hiding. Those were the exact same words he told Voldemort when he asked again about the whereabouts of the Potters, but when the Dark Lord asked about the type of magic they were using to hide, Peter couldn't even think of a good enough lie, so he told the truth.

He knew that if the Potters or Sirius were suddenly found dead, it would be his fault, but none of that happened. Voldemort didn't know who the secret keeper was, Peter had had enough decency to keep that piece of information to himself, but he knew that the first suspect would be Sirius Black, James's best friend and Harry's godfather.

Sirius apparently had the same thoughts, because one night after a meeting, after everyone was already gone, Sirius asked him to be the new secret keeper.

He apparently had already told James and Lily about it, and both of them agreed. Sirius was the most obvious option, and nobody will ever suspect him.

"Is it because I look weak?" Peter wanted to ask him desperately. "Because I look incapable?" But he didn't say it out loud, because maybe he was; maybe he was weak and incapable and a coward, and maybe he'd always been.

After he became secret keeper, Voldemor knew. Peter wasn't sure how he knew it, but he did. Maybe he could read his mind, or maybe he'd never been really good at pretending, but in that moment, when Voldemort asked him the location of the Potters, Peter knew it was over.

Because he was a coward, after all.

He could have begged for James's life, just like Snape did for Lily's. Perhaps, that would have been the last decent thing he could have done for him. But deep inside, Peter knew that it was in vain. Snape never knew Lily the way he knew James, or even Lily herself. They both loved so hard, so intensely, so deeply, and they were so brave, something Peter never had been. They loved so much, and Harry was just the person they loved the most in the world. They wouldn't let their child die without a fight, and then Voldemort would kill them all three.

The moment it happened, Peter felt it in his bones, in every cell of his body, in every beat of his heart.

James was dead.

Peter never thought it was possible to feel absence so deeply in your soul you felt like your own shadow had been torn away from you. He felt it all, but at the same time he felt nothing at all—not when the Dark Lord was gone, and he had lost everything.

Sirius Black gave him a new reason to run: he was going to kill him, he had promised. With every single step he took, he could feel Sirius's breath on his neck like a sharp knife threatening to cut him open, and he deserved it; he knew he did.

But he didn't want to die.

So he ran and ran, until his lungs were full of memories, and regrets, and fear—oh, so much fear. He was terrified of dying.

It was just a matter of time until Sirius found him, he knew he didn't have much time. He had promised to kill him, and if he knew something about Sirius Black, was that he was always true to his threats.

So he did the only thing that crossed his mind—the only thing that gave him an actual shot to survive. He hid among the Muggles, even though he knew Sirius would find him anywhere, and when he inevitably did, Peter was ready.

He caused an explosion that killed probably hundreds of muggles; he wasn't sure, but he didn't care that much. Sirius was there in the explosion, but he didn't die; Peter's plan had never been to kill him.

He held his breath, and without thinking too much, because if he did, he might never be able to do it, he cut one of his fingers. The pain was terrible, the blood was everywhere, but when he transformed into his rat form once again, the pain was already gone, so was Peter.

And he ran once again—he ran away from the life he used to have, the life he would never have again. He ran from his guilt, from his bad decisions, and from every time he betrayed himself.

He ran and never looked back; that was the one thing he always did the best.

He was a coward, after all.

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crowleysgirl56 · 5 months ago

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Concerning the reactions to the comment David made to a young woman about the ending of Good Omens season 3 (including mine).

Firstly let me start by saying that most of my posts are to be taken a jokes. They are written to be mostly tongue in cheek, sarcastic and (what I think) are hilarious. So even though my previous post about freaking out about what David said might seem like I was legitimately panicking I just want to say that it was a joke and please don’t take it too seriously. Honestly I hope it just made you laugh, and you continued scrolling. If my post caused anyone to further their own anxiety or freak out, I apologise. If my post contributed to the fandom as a whole slightly losing their minds, I also apologise.

For those of you who took your reactions to David’s comment a step further and threatened that poor girl, insulted her, or were just generally mean to her, stop it! Don’t do that! Don’t be awful. Please be kind. Go and apologise!

With that out of the way, I did want to do a quick* analysis of the comment and perhaps address why people (and to a little extend myself) are feeling nervous.

To begin with, Neil has previously said (and this is a really good point), David was speaking directly to a fan, and was unaware he was being filmed. So when he says “maybe it’s not the ending you want”, he’s speaking directly to the person who asked him. We don’t know the context of their interaction beforehand and maybe she (or anyone else) had already expressed what their desire for the ending is, so this was his response. However taken out of context, the fandom has put themselves in the shoes of the person asking the question and therefore inserted themselves into the you part. The ending might not be want we want or expect. And considering the number of discussions the fandom participates in, the number of headcanons the fandom throw around, and the number of fanfics being written and read, whatever ending Neil has written is not going to satisfy everyone. It’s impossible to. But that is the same of any fandom really.

Speaking of fandoms, yes we are collectively nervous for a few reasons. One, for a good month there, we were convinced that the ending of season 2 was what the end of that story was going to be. Then when it was announced there’s still one more story to tell, there was another four months before it was finally confirmed that we were going to get that story. Two, case in point Game of Thrones. I don’t think I need to explain anymore than that. We have been burned before and now we’re worried it could happen again (though I will point out here, Neil has a better handle of storytelling and the love, devotion, and desire to finish a story that is beloved to him and is effectively a love letter to his best friend, compared to two TV producers who got bored and wanted to move onto other projects…). Three, filming is still 6 months away, and the premiere likely another year after that. A lot can happen in that time. So after these experiences, I can appreciate why people get nervous and a little in their heads about things.

In terms of the immediate reaction to what this could mean for the ending itself, I honestly cannot fathom how some people have managed to draw a straight line from “It might not be the ending you want” to “Terry would absolutely hate it”. Like, that just boggles my mind. HOW do you extrapolate that? David then immediately said “It’s a good ending”. So I think it’s safe to say that it will be good.

So let’s talk about endings and what people are mostly worried about.

1) Crowley and Aziraphale become human. This isn’t going to happen. Mainly because Neil has joked multiple times that this is the ending. Therefore if he says “this is what will happen” I’m pretty confident that this is what definitely won’t happen. You know after season 2, I ended up writing my own little fan fiction about them becoming human. I thought it was sweet and cute. Then I saw a lot of people absolutely hate that idea, so I never published it anywhere. Oh well.

2) Either one or both of them will die. Also not going to happen. Something tells me that Neil would not participate in the “bury your gays” trope. I do think that maybe there might be a non-permanent death or near death in the climax. But both will live, I’m positive of this.

3) Sex. I’ve spoken about this before. We’re not getting hardcore sexual activity. This is not the show for that. Neil has said before he’s not into writing that kind of thing. Do I think we’ll get more kissing? Yes. Do I think there will be implied sex? Maybe, hopefully, I’m wishing for it. But there is not going to be actual sex folks. Please make your way to AO3 for your reading pleasure.

4) The South Downs. And now we get to what I’m most worried about. That we won’t get what everyone assumes the ending will actually be. Crowley and Aziraphale retired and living in the South Downs. Will I be disappointed if this doesn’t happen? Absolutely. Will I lament here about it? Sure, probably. Will I send Neil abusive messages about how he destroyed and ruined the ending? NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! AND DON’T ANYONE ELSE DO THAT EITHER!

So, will the ending be what we want? There is every chance that it will be, but always a possibility that it won’t be. This is the nature of storytelling. You will never satisfy everyone. Will the ending be good? I have no doubt in my mind that it will be. David says it’s a good. I trust him. Neil says it will be good. I very much trust him.

This is a comedy, first and foremost. Comedies have happy endings. Let’s just take a collective breath and believe it to be so.

*by “quick” I actually meant “really long”. Sorry about that.

#good omens #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #crowley x arizaphale #david tennant #good omens season 3 #michael sheen #neil gaiman #season 3 ending #South Downs #manifesting south downs cottage #please be kind #good omens discussion #good omens analysis

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rainbowsky · 11 months ago

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Can I just take a few minutes to appreciate DD and his unwillingness to walk down a MBTI lane on the red carpet?

Just another example of why I love this man so damn much. He doesn't play games or get drawn into BS.

For those who weren't aware, the huge I and E at the end of the red carpet were meant to indicate 'Introverted' and 'Extroverted', part of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator quackery that a lot of people seem to be taken in by. Stars, when walking the red carpet, were asked to walk down the lane indicated by the letter they identify with.

DD, being DD, walked right down the middle, and when asked by the hosts he said he deliberately didn't choose a lane.

I know a lot of fans are into the whole MBTI thing and I hate to be a wet blanket, but it really is unfounded pseudoscience with the primary aim of making money. It relies on what is known as 'The Barnum Effect' ("individuals give high accuracy ratings to descriptions of their personality that supposedly are tailored specifically to them, yet which are in fact vague and general enough to apply to a wide range of people*"). And let's face it, people are more gullible if you flatter them, and they'll believe flattering things said about them.

*From Encyclopedia Britannica's definition.

A lot of people see MBTI as good, harmless fun, but in reality it's baseless and even nefarious, and frequently used in ways that directly impact people's lives in negative ways. MBTI is used to make hiring decisions and to filter people in other consequential ways. These things also tend to be very racist, ablelist, classist, sexist, homophobic, etc.

Here are a few resources for those wanting to learn more about how utterly bullshit and harmful MBTI is:

They become dangerous tools: The dark side of personality tests

Why the Myers-Briggs test is meaningless, harmful and bad

The comforting pseudoscience of the MBTI

(BTW, not saying DD necessarily realizes MBTI is bullshit. It's likely he primarily just wants to avoid being pigeonholed. These kinds of things are often used by antis to say harmful things about him. But I wouldn't be surprised if he did think it was BS. He's a pretty straight-up guy who seems to have an aversion to things like this.)

#wang yibo #gq moty 2023 #savage dd

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everythingblreview · 1 month ago

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Gakuen Heaven Review

Gakuen Heaven is a very iconic BL game from the early 2000s, it received a Fandisk, an anime and a second game with a new MC and new love interest after 10 years of the main game’s release. This time I played the game together with my friends and we decided to play the PSP version with an emulator, because the PC version is not voiced. The PSP version has no H-scenes (they are just hinting at it) but I was willing to scarify that for the voice acting, it made a big difference so no regrets there. (Only the quality was a bit 360p in the PSP version lol)

Spoiler for the whole game below

Description

Ito Keita, an average high school boy, is surprised to receive an acceptance letter from the renowned Bell Liberty Academy, BL school for short (yes this is what they call the school lmoa, the joke never get old). After being involved in an accident, on the day of his transfer, Keita finds himself among a variety of unique people... but what is Keita's "special ability"? Will he truly be accepted into this school full of elite students?

Story

If you have watched the anime, you pretty much know what happens in this game. Keita gets accepted to BL school after the school year has already started. He arrives after his bus flies off the bridge, completely unharmed because if there is one thing Keita is good at, it’s being lucky. There he meets the king (the student council president) and the queen (the head of the school accounting department and a beauty) and after it all the other characters, his classmate Kazuki (who is overly too friendly with him), Nakajima the (vice president of student council and basically the king’s mother/wife), Omi (also working for the accounting department and the childhood friend of the queen), Shinomiya (a pro at Kyudo), Shunsuke (a boy from Osaka who is good at riding his bike and loves food), Iwai (a depressed artist), Naruse (the school’s playboy and an amazing tennis player) and Umino-sensei (who teaches biology and looks illegally young). Yes, this game has 10 love interest. In the following weeks Keita gets to hang out and to know all of these people. And that’s basically the common route of the game, it may sound boring, but the characters interactions are really fun and entertaining. Everyone has a distinct personally (even if some of the have very stereotypical one). The games plot mostly revolves around the characters and MC, so if you expect some kind of exiting adventure, you’re at the wrong place. The characters route begin around the 3rd week, when Keita gets suddenly called by the vice director and is told he has to leave school, because his admission to BL school was a mistake, so the board of directors decided to kick him out since he no special talent and therefore doesn’t belong in the school. Keita is of course very sad about it since he started to like the school and its students. So, he seeks for advice from the other character, who tell him to go directly to the director of the school. Keita tries that but the director of the school is a mystery; no one know how he looks like or where you can find him (dude is never in his office). Frustrated Keita speaks with Kazuki who tells him that he could just write a mail to the director, which he does. In the mail he states that he wants to stay at the school and ask if the director could help him with his situation. Well, as it seems the director listened to him, because the next day all students get called for a gathering, where a stuff bear (yes you read that right) who is a substitute for the mysterious director, announces a MVP battle where all students can participate in and the winner will have a wish granted by the director. The battle has 3 rounds, and you have to play in pairs. If you watched the anime, I can already tell you the battles are a bit different in the game. In the first round you have to catch in a mini game hamster (yeah idk). You can either do it by yourself, let your partner do it or do it together (and my god some of these guys suck ass at this game). In the second route you have to do a quiz on the subjects of your choice (usually the one related to your LI) and let me tell you these quizzes are hard af. First of all, they are all in Japanese and second, if you think these are some simple questions like ‘what is 2+2’ you’re greatly mistaken. They ask you really hard question about Japanese history and literature and biology and what not. Once again you can let your partner answer but some if these dudes are idiots and can answer wrong. But if you survive this round, the last round is super easy, since it’s all about Keita’s strongest subject: luck. You just have to choose between two cards, and no matter which you choose you won’t lose. During the MVP battle you basically play your partners (the LI of your choice) route. The content of them all depends on the LI you choose.

I also need to mention that if you watched the anime, the part where the school nurse goes crazy and kidnaps Keita is completely made up by the anime, while the part with his friend being in coma is true, the other part after it was created for drama purposes, I guess? But he did tell Keita about his friend and Keita tried to help him together with Kazuki, so yeah there is that.

Characters

Naruse Yukihiko

Naruse is the first character who’s route we accidently ended up on (wasn’t our first choice but we didn’t want to redo it). Like said Naruse is the playboy of the school, he is also called a “playboy” by the other characters. Beside that he is also an excellent tennis player and the captain of the tennis club. He falls in love with Keita on first sight and kisses him on the first day lmao (or not if you make the right choices). Keita is, of course shocked why another guy just kissed him, and this starts the never-ending circle of “but we are both men”. You see, Keita has a terrible case of internal homophobia (or he just never heard of being gay). Naruse, with his extreme bisexual energy, has no problem and doesn’t care if anyone knows he like Keita (pretty sure the whole school knew after 2 days). He always tells Keita that he loves him and calls him “honey” as a nickname, with Keita always countering it with “but we’re both men” … Naruse tries pretty hard to convey his love, he makes bento for Keita, kisses him constantly (Keita was even into it at some point) always tells him he likes him and also explains why he like Keita. He also mentions that he doesn’t care that Keita is a guy and he takes him on dates to romantic place and yet KEITA ALWAYS ANSWERS WITH “BUT WE’RE BOTH MEN” AAAAHHH- *smashes head against wall* Despite my dislike toward the playboy type I can say Naruse was really nice and voiced by Miki Shinichiro of course, cough sexy voice cough I am biased cough and trying so, so hard and yet Keita never took his love seriously, it’s not like he had to like Naruse back but Keita just never took Naruse seriously. Naruse was a really good boy though, he never went against Keita’s wishes, never took advantage of him and always told Keita he would never touch Keita (in the indecent way) if Keita didn’t want it himself. Man is the biggest green flag, seriously. The route was basically just Naruse trying to woo Keita and Keita rejecting him with “gay is not real”, only in the fucking end Keita realised that Naruse maybe really was serious……. *smashes head against the wall again* and also realises that he is in love with Naruse too so he run to Naruse’s training and screams that he loves Naruse too with the whole club listening (and I’m sure no one gives a shit at a school called “BL school”) . Naruse is overjoyed and picks Keita up and carried him to him room for some sexy times (not shown in the PSP version but me and my friend peaked into the PC game and they only showed the foreplay and skipped the actual sex lol) I’m honestly glad we played Naruse first because his route is my (and all of my friends who joined for his route) personal frustration with Keita as a character. I really love Keita but damn his internal homophobia was so bad in this route that we all we’re just screaming at the screen at some point. Naruse himself was really nice, still not my type but I understand his charm (And I wish they would stop giving Miki Shinichirou the playboy role because his voice is hot, but I just don’t like this stupid character trope). Also, I feel like compared to the anime he was less annoying and just overall better, and I feel like if Keita wasn’t so anti-gay, Naruse would have been even more enjoyable.

Umino Satoshi

Although Umino is 24 years old, he looks like is 12. Even Keita mistook him for an elementary student (Can’t blame him). He also has a really fat cat called Tonosama who always looks like high af. Umino sensei is not only a biology teacher, who is quite popular with the students, but also works as a researcher for the Suzubishi group, that this school belongs to, and that’s what most of his route is about. Keita gets interested into Umino’s research and ask to help him, even if he doesn’t understand what Umino is talking about. Honest his route was boring since it mostly consists of research talk (not a very good topic for a bl game in my opinion) and I found myself zooming out for most of the time. (Nothing against biology but after a hard day of work I imagine something more fun than watching 2D characters talk about cells) The real “fun” of this route is when one day Umino’s research data get stolen. Keita is shocked but Umino tells him that it always happens and that he doesn’t care because he isn’t looking for fame and just want to be helpful. And this is the part that really pissed me off in this route, Keita was really pissed at his attitude, but for this route good end you needed to make choices that immediately throws Keita’s anger out of the window. Once this topic comes up again, Keita gets mad, then you have to make a choice and suddenly Keita is all chill again and always answers with “That’s so you, Umino sensei” Like what???” The “climax” of the route is when Keita walks into the room of Umino after one of the MVP battles and sees that another teacher hat tied him down. He was the one who stole the research data and is now trying to get the password out of him. Keita tries his best to convince Umino not to tell the guy, but he ends up doing it anyway after being beaten (and I think even raped in the PC version). So, the dude escapes and you know what Keita and Umino do? N O T H I N G absolutely NOTHING. Not tell the police or the director or anything at all, like wtf??? After removing Keita’s anger, we also removed all his common sense or what? This made me so pissed because Keita normally doesn’t take anyone’s shit but here he doesn’t even try and say “that’s so you Umino sensei” What was the writer ever thinking? Anyway the route ends with the dude never actually getting the data because he understand the password wrong and Keita being so happy over it that he kisses Umino, who is also like “Oh yeah I totally like you, too”. Strange is that they don’t even mention anything about the student-teacher relationship at all, like it’s totally normal. Can’t even decide who needs to be jailed here, Umino for dating a student or Keita for dating someone who looks like 12. Oh and Keita also tops (didn’t mention yet but Keita can be top/bottom depending on his partner) and they constantly fuck in the biology room…..Umino-sensei himself was annoying, I don’t like the “hehe I’m so cute and clumsy”- type, they make me mad for some reason, and him being weak and just getting stepped on didn’t help either.

Nakajima Hideaki

Nakajima is the classic Megane, and not only that he is a Spray Megane (Spray are the one who made Kichiku Megane who I was totally fan of not). He is always mothering the king who is busy being lazy. Outside his route, his interactions are really fun because he is not taking anyone’s shit (especially the king’s). He is very smart, responsible and mostly how you imagine a Megane to be (except that he doesn’t speak polite). Nakajima’s route start with classic sexual harassment, which Keita really doesn’t take well and gets so upset about, that he doesn’t want to see Nakajima for a while (understandable, poor baby) but you have to interact with him, the game forces you to do it. Keita then starts spending time with Nakajima and is actually surprised to learn that Nakajima is actually a pretty nice guy, who even takes Keita out on dates (to an BDMS show lmao, sadly not show in neither version of the game, but Keita seemed to have liked it in some way). He also willing to help Keita with the MVP battle. During it another sexual harassment scene happened, which again upsets Keita. After the MVP battle, Keita is called by 3 guys who are mad at him because he stopped their confrontation with Nakajima, and he gets beaten up by them. Then Nakajima arrives kicks their asses and save Keita. After it is the whole confession scene, with Nakajima telling Keita that he does like him and viva versa.

And now let’s get to my commentary of this route. First, I like to say that I HATE the writer for this route (so does my friend who played with me) and not for the reason you think. I hate the writer because Nakajima’s route was actually good, but they had to ruin it through unnecessary sexual harassment, which ended up feeling completely ooc in the end. Yes, Nakajima is clearly a sadist and loves to tease Keita, but he was genius nice and helpful to Keita 95% of the route, only these random ass scenes mad the route really bitter. The worst part is that Nakajima explained in the end that he first sexual harassed Keita because he wanted Keita to be interested in him (worst excuse ever writer-san) since it turns out the director actually asked him to be basically Keita’s bodyguard. Man is out there working his ass off protecting Keita and writer though “hmm needs more sexual abuse” AJDAKKAJD I’m seriously so mad. “How to mess up a good route 101”. Keita and Nakajima had more than enough time to develop a good relationship and they did. But noooo need more sexual harassment *spits on writer*. The second scenes felt even more ooc because this was already far into the route where Keita already start liking Nakajima and was thanking him for helping him with the MVP battle and out of nowhere Nakajima pushed him in a closet and told him, how Keita seriously thinks he doesn’t need to repay the favour for helping him with the MVP battle and sexually harasses him right there.(Not shown in the PSP version but I saw what you did with the pencil Nakajima) It was just so stupid and out of nowhere. Later he tells Keita that he pushed him into the closet because the three guys, who later beat him up were looking for him and, okay that’s a decent reason, BUT NOT A VALID REASON FOR SEXUAL HARRASEMNT, WRITER *spits on them again*. Worst part is that Keita noticed his love for Nakajima not by getting reminded of all the good times they spent together, nooo he needed to think back to the sexual harassment. Ugh, I know I shouldn’t get mad over a 2002 game but this a serious problem that still happens in modern game, where the writers think forcing random sex/sexual assault is a good idea, which just ends up ruining the character and the route. And I don’t care, twitter kiddies can cry, scream and call my all names in the universe, but I’ll still say it again: Forced sexual scenes only ruin the character and story and I want them gone from BL games.

Despite my deeply rooted anger, if I close my eyes and pretend those scenes never happened, I can say that I enjoyed the route and Nakajima more than I thought even if he was sadist he was really kind to Keita and their relationship development felt more or less natural. I just go and continue to curse the writer.

Kazuki Endo

If you have watched the anime, you know pretty much all of Kazuki’s route because his route was the one that was animated. His route is or can be considered the “true route”, but personally I don’t consider it to be. Kazuki is the first-person Keita makes friends with since they are classmates. Kazuki is a rather friendly person who sticks a little too close to Keita and always follows him everywhere, which I thought was annoying. Personally, I’m not a fan of Kazuki, he is just not my type of character, and I thought the romance development wasn’t done that well in his route (you can guess why). You have to play Kazuki’s route two times; the first time you’ll only get the normal end and the second time you get the happy end. Most of his normal route consisted of Kazuki hanging around with Keita, him fighting with Naruse over Keita (with Naruse beating his ass with sass) and going on a date with Keita (they had no chemistry at all, and I felt like they were talking past each other). Only in the end we (or rather Keita) learn Kazuki’s true intentions after he kisses Keita on the cheek. Keita is so shocked to learn that Kazuki was actually trying to woo Keita all this time, just like Naruse (Keita actually thought about the possibility before when Kazuki and Naruse had their sass fight but had thrown the idea to the side after his internal homophobia striking again). And this is basically where the route ends. The second time you play the route there will be more scenes with them together as well as Keita starting to have some déjà vu’s and dreams of his past. Well, turns out Kazuki is the classic childhood friend character (*sarcastic* wuhu) and that Keita used to play with Kazuki when he was a small child, but later Kazuki had to move away, which saddened Keita so Kazuki promising that they would go to school together one day. Keita suspects that Kazuki is the oniichan he used to play with but isn’t fully sure. After MVP battel, Keita is invites to the director’s office to make his wish, Kazuki is nowhere to be found so Keita goes alone. Well, turns out Kazuki has been the fucking director all along lmaooo and he invited Keita to the school so he could fulfil his promise to go to the same school together and to live his gay dream (even Keita thinks that this is a bit ridiculous). Keita is so shocked that the poor guy can’t even get a full sentence out. Because not only has Kazuki has told him that he is the director but also his oniichan from the past. Also, btw Kazuki is actually older (even if we have never found his age and he was just pretending to be a student.) Anyway, after a bit of talk, Kazuki confesses and Keita decides he is gay as hell suddenly and they confess to each other like 7 times (seriously the confession took way too long), before finally kissing and fuck right there in the director’s office in the PC version and that’s basically the whole route. The romance was rather meh, since there wasn’t a moment Keita actually realised his feeling himself which he did in most of the route. Also, I have question why Kazuki has the hots for Keita, who he only met when Keita was like 5 years old or something. But despites few complains the route was enjoyable to play, it had many funny scenes and Keita’s reaction to director Kazuki was hilarious. I have to say that despite me not being into Kazuki I though he was a great director, really cared about the students and let them have their own freedom. Also, Idk how this man can be a student + director + the research lab chef AND still have time to be a part in the handicraft club (granny hobby) while stalking Keita. Does he even sleep? We will never know. Compared to the anime the games doesn’t tell you that Kazuki is the director until he reveals it himself or until you recognise his voice in another route lol, it’s sad that they revealed it so fast in the anime since its just a big secret in the game.

Iwai Takuto

Iwai’s route had the most induvial plot of the game. The route starts with Keita seeing him burn his painting after meeting Iwai at the artist club. And the next day he walks in on Iwai trying to kill himself by cutting his wrist (like wtf). Luckily the cut is small and no danger to his life. Shinomiya who is friends with Iwai takes care of him while he heals (Keita is also there to help) and there we find out from Shinomiya that this wasn’t the first time Iwai did this (jesus) and then he starts to victim blame Iwai (I will come back to this bitch Shinomiya later). So, Keita being the good boy he is decided to help Iwai and find out why he is so depressed (enough to try to kill himself several times??). Well, turns out it has to do with Iwai’s family, who is just garbage. Iwai’s mother is the mistress of some famous artist who taught Iwai how to paint, but Iwai got really good at oil painting, so his trash father just took credit for Iwai paintings himself and got a bunch of praise and prices for it. But not only that it gets worse, his mother is a total hoe who forces Iwai to make more paintings because if not Iwai’s father will leave her and go back to his other family. This whole situation really sits on Iwai because he doesn’t want to create more oil painting for his shitty father, but he genuinely loves to paint. He was even once rejected from a competition for “copying” the art of his garbage dad. Also, the reason he burned the paintings in the beginning was because his mother was visiting him, and he didn’t want to hand her anymore of his. Keita as a character shines the strongest in the route because he isn’t having any of this shit and tries his best for Iwai to confront his family, even if Iwai is always trying to give up. Luckily an art gallery guy noticed that Iwai’s father paintings are actually Iwai’s and ask him for cooperation to reveal the whole thing to the public, Iwai first rejects it but with Keita’s positive influence he finally accepts it. The development of their relationship was also good, though it mostly consisted of Keita (friendly) kicking Iwai’s ass to stop being a puppet for his shitty family (we love that). Also, Iwai made a painting of Keita, which he later used as the main theme for his exhibition, after the whole situation was revealed and he finally got the praise he deserved.

He also confessed first to Keita by kissing him, but good thing is that the gay in Keita has already started to bloom, so he doesn’t think much about the fact that they are both men and happily gets laid. Generally speaking, Iwai had the best route story-wise, and Keita showed the strongest part of his characters here, despites that I can say Iwai is just not my type, I can appreciate the route by I don’t really have any interest in Iwai or the pairing.

Shinomiya Kouji

Shinomiya’s route was the second one we played, and after no homo Naruse’s air it felt like a breath of fresh air. Because this time Keita is the one who is falling first for the LI. His route is a bit different from others in that way that he agrees to be Keita’s MVP battle partner only for to fulfil his own dream. Which is to save his little brother, who has heart problems and can’t get a heart transplant immediately because in Japan you need to be older to get one. And since Suzubishi also has a medical research department he knows they can help him. Keita agrees to help him even if it means that he won’t be able to stay at the school. Along the way Keita falls for Shinomiya and can’t hide his feeling anymore, so he confesses to Shinomiya and Shinomiya is like “souka” (“I see”) like bitch what kind of answer is that???? The scene just ends without him actually saying anything back lmaooo. Later Keita confesses again and to get his feelings across he kisses Shinomiya (hell yeah Keita lets go full gay, Naruse probably crying in the background, wishing he had gotten this treatment.) and Shinomiya kisses him back, so they are happy clappy gay together now. Which also starts a long back and forth between “I want you to stay at the school so we can be together” and “I want to save your little brother” but at some point, they agree that saving Shinomiya’s brother is more important than dick battles. So after Keita wins the MVP battle they go to the director office, where they of course don’t meet the director because Kazuki is hiding but they can talk to him through speakers (I seriously want to know how Keita doesn’t recognize Kazuki’s voice) but they tell him that their wish is for Shinomiya’s brother to get the medical treatment he needs and director Kazuki tells them that he will make their wish come true, but also because Kazuki’s gay ass he let Keita stay in school. So, they get both the things they wanted, happy end~ And now let’s get to the part where I drag Shinomiya through dirt because he is a victim shaming asshole. I have to say he is already flat, but the fact that he wants to be a doctor is even funnier because I hate the doctor characters who have like no other personality than being a doctor (I talked about this in another review before) Anyway the part where he shames Iwai for trying to commit fucking suicide made me really dislike him. If there is one thing that gets my blood really boiling, its people who blame victims for their situation instead of helping them doesn’t that remind you of another doctor character who victim blamed the MC for his situation? Yeah, congrats Shinomiya now get your ugly ass out of my face.

Continued in Part 2

#bl game #boys love game #bl game review #blvn #boys love #gakuen heaven #next review will be omega vampire

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knockyasocksoff2022 · 1 year ago

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Deaf or Mute Dazai Headcannons

Deaf Dazai:

Absolute little shit (as per usual)

If he doesn't want to 'listen' to what someone is saying he just closes his eyes so he can't see them signing. Or turns his back if he wants to be extra obnoxious.

Tricks Kunikida into sighing naughty things by telling him they mean something else.

Or he tells Kunikida he just mistakenly signed something dirty and Kunikida gets all embarrassed until Dazai does his "I'm just messing with you" thing and Kunikida loses his shit.

Signs random words while smirking as a joke so people think he's saying something dirty but he's really just spouting gibberish.

Blasts music through his headphones so loud others can hear it and Kunikida always gets so mad because "You can't even hear god dammit!"

Sings his sucide songs which sounds even more obnoxious because he can’t hear himself and is way off key. He also uses sign to sing the “verses” and has made up dance moves to go that incorporate the signs. It’s a whole production at this point and poor Kunikida just wants a break.

This has caused the ADA to wonder multiple times if Dazai is actually deaf or just really dedicated to his act.

Chuuya makes a big show of not wanting to learn sign language . . .

but he spends countless hours making sure he's fluent enough that he can understand Dazai and have his back in a fight. they can sign so fast at this point that it may as well be their own secret language.

Dazai has a habit of pointing to Chuuya or spelling out Chuuya's name when he wants to say something/someone is short.

Uses Chuuya as a comparison. "It was two Chuuya's long" or "Half a Chuuya"

He and Chuuya have made up some of their own signs, kind of like tactical hand signs used in the military.

Most of the signs they made are just insults though.

Both of them know the sign for stupid/idiot in almost every sign language and use them frequently. Dazai also knows short.

Can use body language to 'talk' to each other without anybody else noticing.

Still have codewords, just in sign language instead.

Dazai can lip read accurately but loves giving false readings just to be funny.

Chuuya: *says something*

Dazai: *signing/writing back with a confused look on his face* Pink elephants do what?

Chuuya: I know you understood me you fishy bastard!

Dazai: *sighing/writing* You want me to stitch faster?

*They end up fighting*

Chuuya can read lips as well, another way they can subtlety communicate.

Mute Dazai:

Most of the Port Mafia & all of the ADA know sign language.

Has an LCD (Liquid Crystal Display) Writing Tablet that he uses to 'talk' in meetings because it's easier to erase than a whiteboard.

Knows cursive, his handwriting is beautiful and has a calligraphy-like style to it because he has to write so much.

Chuuya used to find it annoying and hard to read but now it's like a code between them because it's so complicated that people who don't have experience with them can't read it.

Tried and failed to teach Chuuya calligraphy. (Chuuya is one of those people who writes using all capital letters and has neat blocky handwriting)

Actually knows how to mime

When he first partnered with Chuuya he used to annoy him by only miming and refusing to write/use sign language.

Now Soukoku is banned from charades at PM game night because they always win.

Will confuses enemies/random people by starting to mime out of nowhere.

He loves doing silent screams.

He and Chuuya sometimes prank people by doing a sort of ventriloquist act (Not really but that’s the only thing I can compare it to). (Sorry if I spelt that wrong). Chuuya will hide and Dazai will go up and start “speaking” to someone. Dazai will mouth the words as if he’s talking while Chuuya is actually talking and it freaks the crap out of everyone who knows them because they can’t see Chuuya and they’re looking for him (he’s just chillin’ floating high above or something like that. Maybe even directly over the head of the person they’re pranking, but too high for them to notice.) Meanwhile Dazai/Chuuya is just talking about a totally normal subject. They’ve gotten so good at this that they can often fool enemies who haven't met Chuuya into thinking Dazai can talk.

#deaf dazai osamu #mute dazai osamu #dazai osamu headcannons #soukoku headcanons #bungou stray dogs headcannons #bsd headcanons #bungo stray dogs headcannons #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd

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snowangeldotmp3 · 2 years ago

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dear lucas; from max

hehe i have more letters. anyway, this is from my kas!max wip, and these letters are supposed to be holding back a little bit like max was in the series, as these were supposed to be written around episode 4. this is my first Real time writing for max, so please be kind lol. again like with the dear barb letter (which you can read here) it will be in first person, and will be posted to ao3!

Lucas,

Hey, stalker.

You know what this means if you’re reading this.

I’m sorry for not telling you sooner. I just didn’t know how. I’m sorry I kept pulling away.

And before you start, don’t blame yourself. This isn’t your fault, and you couldn’t have stopped this. Vecna is just an asshole, and I was a bad girlfriend. A bad friend, too. Friends don’t lie, or whatever, but I did. I said I was fine and I wasn’t. I’m sorry for being a bad friend.

I heard about the game, by the way. I listened to it on the radio. I can’t believe your Hawkins High’s star player now.

I should’ve been there.

This is about to get really sappy and gross, and if you tell anyone I swear to god I will haunt your ass, Sinclair.

I’m glad I came to Hawkins. Sure, every six months there’s a world ending threat and now one of them is directly attacking me, but, I’m still glad I met you guys. Hawkins was new and scary, not just because of the monsters.

You asked me, about two years ago, in the back of the Palace Arcade, “Do you accept the risk?” Do you remember that? Back then I thought that it was just a story, that you were just really, really into the nerd shit that you and your friends had created and just wanted me to play along. I hadn’t realized it was a serious thing until the junkyard. Until I saw the monsters for real. Then I understood.

I’m glad I accepted the risk. I’m glad I got to meet you and the rest of the Party and become part of your weird little friend group. I don’t regret it. Even if it seems like I should, especially right now, especially with what happened in the summer. But I don’t. I don’t think I would change anything about how we met. I would still accept the risk.

I do want to make him pay, though. The shit head behind all of this. He’s been doing this shit the whole time, the Mind Flayer, the Spider Monster, and now all of this. You have to swear to me, Lucas. You’ll make him pay. You and the Party and Steve, Nancy, and Robin. Shit, El too. She probably already knows that something is up even if she doesn’t have her powers. You all have to make him pay. Not just for me, either. Everybody who’s been affected by this. Will, Nancy’s friend, all of those people last summer, Chrissy, Fred, everyone.

This letter is the hardest one, besides the one I wrote for my mom, and I’m glad you’re all asleep right now so you can’t see me crying like a baby trying to write this. Don’t laugh at me. I’m really gonna miss you guys. Our movie nights, or sneaking into the movie theater and the drive in or walking downtown and just talking or planning our Halloween costumes together. (You have to go as the Green Lantern this year. Especially if I don’t make it out of this. I don’t give a shit what Mike plans.)

I’ll miss you most, Lucas. You are such a good person, you’re so kind. You were there for me and wanted to be there for me when I didn’t want to be around people at all. I know it’s cliché to say, but you’ve got a heart of gold, Lucas. You have never given up on me. And I know that if you’re reading this it means the worst has happened, but I’d like to think you didn’t give up on me then, either. That you were there until my final moments.

You are my guiding light. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when you were there for me. I hope whenever you hear Kate Bush, you’ll think of me, Stalker.

From,

Love, your girlfriend,

Mad Max.

#stranger things #lumax #kas!max mayfield #my writing #again this is my first time writing as max so pls be kind!! still getting her voice down lol #but yeah i wanted these to be still holding back a little bit like she was in episode 4. still a little closed off. ya know?#max mayfield #lucas sinclair #not my usual stuff but!! glad i'm writing these. i love stepping out of my comfort zone [said through gritted teeth]

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7grandmel · 8 months ago

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Todays rip: 30/03/2024

THANK YOU FOR RIPPING

Season 1 Featured on: beatmania IIDX 7 GRAND Also on: GilvaSunner's Highest Quality Video Game Rips: Volume 7: Part mm2wood

Ripped by beat_shobon

youtube

Requested by Bumsoldier! @bumsoldier (Request Form)

Its that time again - another Season 1 finale rip! But there's a good reason these keep showing up, as I reiterate with each one I cover - The Season 1 finale was when the team was truly firing on all cylinders to end the channel off with a bang. Planet Wisp Mashup Medley, The SiIvaGunner Smurfs Collab, File Select Fusion Collab, Stone Halation - tons of these incredibly ambitious, full-blast collaborations, that I've written plenty of words about already. In comparison, THANK YOU FOR RIPPING feels almost as if dwarfed in scope, not helped by being a rip of a comparatively niche series. Which is a damn shame - because what beat_shobon has done here is just as much of a loveletter to the entire channel yet expressed through his own individual style in a far more condensed runtime.

First of all though - wow, beat_shobon! It's been since Rolling Start that I wrote about one of his rips, and since then I've learned that he's become a bit of a superstar since his 2016 SiIvaGunner days - notably winning a Vocaloid songwriting contest with the ironically-named Can't Make A Song!! in 2018. The guy has a great grasp on this kind of music, is my point, and both Rolling Start and THANK YOU FOR RIPPING show that off well - but more importantly, I adore how THANK YOU FOR RIPPING still feels as much like a love letter to SiIvaGunner as a whole as it does a flexing of its rippers' muscles. The song used as the foundation for the mashup is GO MY WAY!! from the IDOLM@STER franchise, a song that was immensely notable in Season 1 as the song to supposedly "replace" Snow Halation during The Reboot storyline - see I Saw a Brainwasher Today for a bit more details on this. Its a song that I remember receiving a lot of pushback during that event as a result of those connotations, as a lot of people found it to be even *more* grating of an idol song than Snow Halation was - yet with The Reboot concluded, with those emotions settled, I find that the song has come to represent a sense of...unity, in the fanbase. It IS silly idol music, but we've come to accept it as part of SiIvaGunner, as a result of what The Reboot taught us.

That's far from all that THANK YOU FOR RIPPING contains, of course - the piano in the background continuously plays segments of The Flintstones theme throughout the entire song, as it jumps from joke to joke. Its a bit of a journey throughout the entire channel's life during Season 1: starting where it all began with Vinesauce Joel's reaction to 7 Grand Dad, to a quick clip of Snoop Dogg's "Smoke Weed Everyday!!", a sudden jumpscare from The Bean (I'll get to it someday), then moving into memes prominent in the season's last few months, in the infamous POKEMON GO SONG!!! and The Nutshack theme. All the while, again, those Flintstones-esque notes stay prominently audible in the background, as to keep reminding us of where this whole thing all began.

Perhaps most interesting of all, though, is near the rips end at around the 1:30 mark. Another Vinesauce Joel clip plays, a quite well known one - "WHO'S BEEN DRAWING DICKS?" - but its pitch shifted in a way that may ring as familiar to many of you. It is, indeed, directly referencing the rip "Creative Exercise - Mario Paint", known by its album name as Mario Paint exe 2. A sequel to a prior-made Soundcloud mashup from the same ripper in 2015, this is as of today the third-most-viewed rip on the entire SiIvaGunner channel - and was, to my surprise, also made by beat_shobon. Making that connection, then, drew my attention to another part of the rip just a few seconds earlier, where the instantly-recognizable bellow of "DAY-TO-NAAA!!!" from Daytona USA plays in the midst of the mix. I cannot help but think that this is a direct callback to Rolling Start, as another one of beat_shobon's most celebrated rips - one also made during The Reboot, tracing back to the rip's central joke.

I dunno - there are tons of these little connections to make within the surprisingly dense 2-minute runtime of THANK YOU FOR RIPPING, yet they all work toward the very same emotional goal. Gratitude - a thank you, from the entire SiIvaGunner channel yes, but also from beat_shobon himself, thanking us all for having enjoyed so much of the channel's life. Through thick and thin, through Reboots and Beans, though rips made by people all over the world - we loved SiIvaGunner more than ever before during the Season 1 finale. And its always such a treat to go back to that time and see just how much it meant to even the rippers behind it all.

#todays siivagunner #season 1 #siivagunner #siiva #beat_shobon #iidx #beatmania iidx #the idolm@ster #idolmaster #go my way #thank you for playing #vocaloid #rhythm games #Bandcamp #Youtube

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raayllum · 6 months ago

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For the commentary meme:

“I know sibling relationships can be complicated,” Soren meandered, pulling at his collar when Ez didn’t directly look at him. “But I’ve known you and Callum a long time, your whole lives in fact, and—”

“The world won’t end if my brother and I don’t talk to each other for a week,” Ezran said irritably. Callum might've been able to forget about the past oh so easily, but Ezran couldn't.

“No,” Soren agreed, soft and wise. “But you might regret it.”

It had been only with a day’s notice, after all, before their father had been taken abruptly from him. Only a few weeks before Claudia had garnered white hair and a staff and Soren hadn’t seen her for two years. Maybe it would be best to… even if Ezran was angry, and even if he wouldn’t renounce his choice not to help, he and Callum could still…

It was late that night, four days after their fight, that Ezran went up to his room with the intent on trying to hash something out in the morning if his temper didn’t get the better of him again.

There was a letter and the assassin’s bow lying on his bed.

Ezran, the letter read, his shaking hands nearly tearing it two before his eyes could focus on the word. Callum’s handwriting. We figured out the location of the Starscraper and we left a few hours ago. Maybe the time away will help. Help change his mind, surely, was the unwritten intent. Look after the prison while we’re gone. It shouldn’t be more than a month at most. Stay safe.

And then a blank space where I love you should’ve gone, a half formed letter like that was all Callum had been able to bring himself to manage.

Below that was slimmer, messier writing. Rayla.

Ez,

I’m sorry this is the way things have gone. I hope we can make it right once Callum and I have come back. I know this is difficult and I’m sorry… I’m so sorry for my part in it. I left behind Runaan’s bow as an apology; it’s yours to do what you want with. He won’t need it anymore. I’m sorry, again. I promise I’ll keep Callum safe while we’re gone.

All my love, Rayla

A tear smudged the ink before Ezran set the letter down and wiped at his face. The bow loomed over the cushions, blue against red.

He wasn’t sure why he was crying when he wanted to scream instead.

want commentary on a scene from one of my fics? send me the passage and i'll write up some meta/thought process stuff

Ah the ending of chapter 4 / where the brothers have left off until further notice!

This scene was really important to me to get right since it is that Great Schism for the brothers, ultimately. I thought it was very Ezran for him to still sort of think things could turn out if he just puts in the effort / has another conversation (he's angry and grieving, but he's not Bitter before this as much), only to not realize Callum already hit his breaking point 3 days prior during their fight — arguably at 'Callum stared at him with cold eyes. “Dad would be so disappointed in you.”' — and made a game plan accordingly.

Only then, because Callum feeling betrayed by Ezran already happened (“She’s our family, why isn’t that—”), does Ezran have his turn of feeling betrayed by his brother. Like Ez isn't being fair, but he's also not being entirely unreasonable. But being lied to / stolen from and then left with only a letter (and even Rayla being more guilt ridden / softer because she and Ezran weren't arguing directly) has got to sting.

I feel like partially because Callum is his older brother, even though Callum can be frustrating / meaner than needed sometimes... Ez has never known a time without his brother, y'know? They're not always on the same side (1x09 my beloved) but having Callum's care and priority is something that Ez has built a lot of his life on, even as the timeskip kind of chipped away at some of it because Callum was such a mess.

And at the same time while Callum is giving as much as he can while also holding space for Rayla, he's holding back and being unfair too, just like Ezran. Which Ez kind of knows, because he's crying instead of screaming because even though he Wants to be angry about all this, he is at his core mostly just Sad (which is the way grief usually works anyway).

Basically: I love situations where everyone's feelings are valid and understandably there even if what people are doing with those feelings is messy and wrong while also not being entirely wrong, either, and this scene was a great way to showcase this.

Other notes:

Throughout the fic Soren is almost always Right™ since I think Soren, due to the breadth of his personal experiences and what he's given himself time to process (or not to process), and he has a unique perspective here in regards to how everything's gone down (which gets explored more later). Here, he's thinking about how he and Claudia disagree on so much but still love each other, and seeing Ez and Callum being not nearly as splintered, of course (and they're not) but still at risk of splintering if they don't get some of their shit in gear.

You also have Rayla, who in typical "Rayla's internalized fashion" is constantly running damage mitigation and her goodbye letter, this time to Ezran, is full of it as well as her own assurances that Runaan can/will change upon release (which is not something Callum promised Ez earlier) because we love bias and Rayla's rare optimistic streak that mostly concerns her loved one's abilities to be Better than they necessarily are in this household.

#thanks for asking #thrandilf #fic: teach me how to name the bigger light #tdp broyals #broyals #my fic #requests

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joculine · 6 months ago

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DIE Issue #3 Reread (Gillen & Hans)

Issue #3 opens with a bang. Boom: Dieselpunk dragon.

The Front

I'll talk a little bit about the Front here before we get into the art. The world of Die (the game, not the comic) is split up into 20 distinct parts (like the faces of a a d20.) Each section is it's own distinct little microcosm, with its own quests, factions, characters, and flavor. These faces aren't fully disconnected though—several of these little lands are in conflict with each other. The Front is one of them.

This place is a mix of a WWI trench battlefield, a steampunk fantasy, and some Lord of the Rings for good measure. I don't think an actual world map will show up in the comic (to my memory,) but I believe it is an intersection of Eternal Prussia (home of the Clockwork Fascists) and Little England (The Scouring of the Shire, sans victory over Saruman.) Since each face of Die is a triangle, there's probably a third power in here, I would assume Angria. It doesn't come up here though.

I really like this concept. In fact, I stole it as a setting in my first real TTRPG. My players never really went there, so I ended up bring my own dieselpunk enemies to the city they were staying in. The idea was too cool not to use. I mean, evil, magical, mechs? Hobbits with infantry rifles? What's not to love.

The Art

I already shared the dragon splash piece and the battlefield from this issue, which are the main talking points. I also want to point out the way the watercolor style images continue to show off Hans's incredible eye for lighting. Check out how the outline of the dragon looms over Chuck in the smoke after a shelling:

This technique of shadows building suspense around a subject gets replicated a little later on, when an unexpected guest arrives in the trench.

And then is inverted with the eagle, shining bright like a sun among the smog:

There's some great costuming choices for Ash in this issue. Part of the plot here is that she is not recognizable as a Dictator, as a large overcoat has covered most of her dress and chest scar. I think she looks neat. Just look at those sandals!

We also see that red magic of violence show up a few times too. From the dragon itself, when Matt attacks the dragon, and at the end, when the hobbit's letter is burned.

Interesting that the eagle, who appears to be summoned by... Tolkien... does not appear as red, even though we can assume it is magical. Instead, it is golden, something that signifies are more noble intention. I'll keep an eye out for that gold color going forward too.

Hold on a second, Tolkien? Like actual JRR Tolkien is a character here?

Kind of. This is one of my favorite world building elements of DIE and we'll get more in further issues. For now, it seems as though the spirit of a very influential author to Die and TTRPGs in general is present in the game. Present and trapped even. Not unlike the situation the party finds itself in.

It's not just Tolkien himself either. Ash stumbles into a trench and runs right into Elijah Wood Frodo.

DIE isn't afraid to share what it's referencing—in fact it's so unafraid that it's tied it up in the plot and themes directly. Ash goes on a bit of an internal journey while experiencing this homage. There's never a point where she seems totally disillusioned with it, but she seems to struggle to take the whole thing seriously... or at least she says she does.

I mean, it is a bit ridiculous for her, right? She's stepped back into this fantasy realm, made by her teenage GM, and now has to deal with Frodo and the hobbits dying after a failed attempt at going over the top of the trenches. It's so overblown and on the nose, it's almost funny.

But that horror is still there. And it becomes more real to her when the face of the most influential fantasy author suddenly appears before her.

The dramatics are dramatic, the artifice is laid bare, and yet the emotion is still real.

I think it's telling, Tolkien's words about The Front and the world of Die: "[A]n orcish mockery of my elvish tale. This is not what I wanted." We can read this literally, as the character's displeasure with what Sol has made. We can also read this as a reaction to the comic itself: it's not on the same level as LOTR, but a crueler remixing of elements from those books. I think we can also look at this as Tolkien's denial of his own work as being a metaphor for WWI.

This is a really interesting statement, not only because it can be seen in so many different ways as illustrated above, but because it contradicts itself. Why is Die Tolkien, who is the master of this realm, critiquing the Front? Why did Gillen choose to put his own version of Tolkien criticizing his comic in the comic itself? Why was Tolkien in life so reluctant to compare his work to his own experiences? It's a little paradoxical, and offers messy conclusions—a great metaphor for a character trapped in an endless war.

I also see how this little story relates to tabletop games as a whole. The medium asks you to take silly things seriously and to suspend your disbelief enough to make pretend with your friends. Yet, the emotions you can experience in a session of roleplay can be very strong, positively and negatively. Tabletop has certainly had a powerful impact on my own life, even when I know it's all fake.

We'll have to hold onto these ideas of an author trapped in their work and the influence they have over a thing even after they're gone. Tolkien will not be the only one who shows up in this comic.

Ash the Dictator

We've seen Ash's Dictator power in previous issues, but this is where we really get a sense of her class's role. It's all shown in a masterful sequence where she needs to manipulate Matt's feelings to fill him with sorrow. As a Grief Knight, Matt can turn sadness to violence, which is what's needed to kill the dragon.

He asks her to use her voice, the Dictator power that allows her to implant emotions directly. She does something different. She tells him the story of the hobbits in this trench. She tells him what she knows, and what she doesn't. It bring him to tears. He kills the dragon.

This sequence would own anyway, with Ash revealing she doesn't need her powers to fulfill her role, but it's even better with the visuals. Through her time in the trench, Ash has been curled up, cowardly, and cloaked in a long coat. Little by little, she stands, undresses, and literally reveals her thorns.

Moments ago, this lady was crying in a ditch. The heel turn is so fast. She's a force to be reckoned with. In Issue #2, we saw the extreme danger in the voice with Sir Lane, but here we get to see first hand how cold Ash is even without her power.

Other Thoughts

This issue opens with a discussion on what a "dungeon" is in the context of an RPG. Ash concludes two things: 1) People go through dungeons when they have no better options. 2) The world itself can be a dungeon. This is really just great GM advice hidden in the plot of this comic. I've said that the Front was something I stole for a setting in an early campaign of mine, but this intro wormed its way into my subconscious as a way to build scenarios. Really, the only difference between a traditional dungeon and this warzone is that one has a roof.

This is also our first look at the Fair Gold system for the Neo class. This whole encounter with a dragon kicks off because Angela was caught looking for gold by a Clockwork Patrol. This gold is what powers her abilities, but it only works for so long. She's incredibly strong and versatile, but without it she's not much use in a fight.

I dunno, I never found this class's built in story super compelling, but perhaps I'll enjoy it more this go around.

Chloe has pointed out though, Angela is prone to impulsive decisions and attempts to get away from sources of trauma. We can see that with how badly she wanted to play Die in '91 after her dog died. We can see it in the divorce and custody battle with her husband. We're seeing it now with her jump to fight the dragon 1 on 1. I've got my eye out for that going forward.

It's been a lot of action so far, but next time, we'll get some roleplay.

#die comic #die reread

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waitineedaname · 1 year ago

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what was tumblr like 9 years ago

god idk how to describe it. I'm not sure how much of my perception of tumblr 9 years ago is affected by me being 13/14 at the time, how much of it was the fandoms I was in, and how much was indicative of tumblr at large, but I'll try to describe it

the like. overall tone of the site was different? you know how people look back on old tumblr posts and cringe? these were the days where those posts were shared unironically. a good example is the shoelaces pose, that was enjoyed entirely unironically. tbh I've watched tumblr's tone shift a lot over the years, going from unabashed cringe, to being deeply embarrassed by those times, to being jaded/disaffected/cynical, to trying to reclaim the cringe era. again, that might be affected by who I've been following, but that's just the vibe I've gotten from the kinds of posts/blogs that get popular

the way people used the site has changed too! some of this is because of features being added and taken away. the messages function wasn't added until 2015, and before that, people talked to each other through the fanmail feature, which has since been removed. it was kind of like asks I guess? you'd send a message directly into someone's inbox. it was like sending letters lol people would also carry on conversations in the reblogs of a post. it was not uncommon to see a post a mile long where two people were just having a public conversation. it was harder to reply to replies too

also, ask games and especially ask blogs were really popular. ask blogs seem to have kind of died out, so in case that's unfamiliar, they were blogs themed around a character (or sometimes a collection of characters, like a particular friend group, or even the whole cast of characters if the blogrunner was ambitious enough) and people would send in asks that the blog would respond to in character, usually accompanied by art. I really loved ask blogs lol I miss them

oh also people really took pride in their blog themes. it makes me sad to see tumblr actively trying to kill this function by making it so that clicking on someone's blog opens them as a tumblr(.)com/url popup that just looks like the mobile blog theme. it used to be the default that it would open as a new page, url(.)tumblr(.)com, and you could customize the hell out of how it looked. people used to take great pride in customizing their blog themes, updating them occasionally, fucking with the html to get new features, some would even add playlists to their blog. baked into this too was the "pages" function, where you could have other pages on your blog, like an about page or whatever. now everyone uses carrd I guess. I miss blog customization and the pages </3

#asks #skittypretty #why do my responses to your asks always get so long. sorry about that #but yeah it's been interesting watching tumblr change over the past nine years!#it'll be a decade next year. that's wild #some of the changes tumblr has made are good #like the messaging function and the changes they've made to replies #but some of the changes make me sad #like the removal of the blog function #this was a blogging site originally! I miss that

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skitskatdacat63 · 3 months ago

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misc lore drop day 26/?

The arranged marriage in boy king au is funny bcs they don't know this, but if they had a war, it probably would've sucked for a period of years, yes. But also would've ended up in the same results as the marriage, albeit without the marriage itself. Imagine how pissed Fernando would be with Seb and everyone around him if he was able to find that out. I mean of course he thinks about it, since in the beginning, he spends a lot of time plotting escape routes and alternatives. But everyone around him convinces him it would be easier to marry. Think of your potential people, your Highness! Wouldn't they be so grateful if they knew you avoided war and bloodshed! They would call you Fernando the KInd, Fernando the Gracious, Fernando the Magnanimous!! They would love you dearly, my good, gracious prince. And this is true, of course. War would be really nothing to him, maybe an idle game he can go play in every once in a while, but it wouldn’t be the same to him as it would a normal person. He wants to be a river to his people!(lmao sry, Lawrence brained still)

Even though he comes to terms with it and accepts his decision, he’s always gonna be annoyed that his self determination was ripped from him that way. I also think every young man longs for the battlefield, especially in this era. Many of the portraits, even young ones, from back then had the men wearing armor. So it does sting him that he passed on the glory of war only to cede to the same man he’d be fighting, in a more humiliating way. They are able to bond over it eventually. Getting denied that ultimate show of force and power. Peace is good, it’s good to make treaties and avoid pointless injury and death, but still. Though I like to think that in history books, their rule would probably be called an era of peace. It’s admirable too for two incredibly headstrong people to be able to put aside their desires for the greater good. Seb obviously comes away from the whole marriage with a bigger gain, but it’s always gonna bite at him that he never even got the chance to see if he could get another title.

This is a big reason behind why they compete so much over everything. It’s as though they were destined to fight against each other, but by sheer chance, things ended up completely different. They have all this pent up energy from the anticipation of potential war. I mean seriously, imagine building up this potential adversary in your brain, and then you end up getting married to him?? Because of this, they’re both constantly seeking to win over the other at literally everything to sate that deep, visceral hunger inside them. Maybe they’re soulmates in this way. They’re bound to each other, just not in the way fate intended. But isn’t competing directly so much better? War would’ve been them barely even directly participating, or even commanding. Just sitting on the sidelines, maybe barely catching glimpses of each other. Sitting in their respective palaces, getting sent update letters on the war, with a vague mention of the other. Now they get to look each other directly in the eyes, right before ruining the rest of the other’s day.

#soulmates.........#whats the evil version of soulmates?#where you're always destined to wanna fight the other?#dw they'll solve this fight in their marital bed #lore a day #boy king au

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peachymilkandcream · 1 year ago

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Break Me Slowly Levi's Yandere Alphabet

(A/N: I see the requests in my inbox don't worry I'll get to them, I just wanted to do this since I just saw it. [I'll make a William one afterwards don't worry] After these I'll get to the requests I promiseee)

WARNINGS: noncon, dubcon, manipulation, domestic abuse, yandere themes, forced marriage, forced pregnancy, stockholm syndrome, violence, mind breaking, misogyny, etc.

===========================================

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get? Levi has always had a hard time expressing his affection, and as someone who deprived himself of touch, especially sexual touch, he would resort to that as his primary form. Retuning his sexual advance is the highest form of praise for him, although any possessive hugs or hand/arm holding is very important.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling? Levi has killed many people in the name of his love, whether directly himself or by putting them in a situation to be killed. The blood price could never be high enough if it meant Evelyn was safe with him.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them? We've seen how Levi's treated Evelyn, beatings, r*pe, starvation, gaslighting, all is fair game in his eyes if it means he has her.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will? ^ See above

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling? Levi is extremely closed off to Evelyn emotionally, even in the happiest moments of his life he acts nonchalant so she doesn't see an ounce of weakness in him. His whole life is a facade to her.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back? He is slightly amused, thinking that she could ever stand a chance against him. He enjoys beating her back down when she tries anything.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape? Levi hates it with a passion when she even tries to escape. It's not a game for him, if she happened to escape his life would be over, he would be devastated beyond recognition. He doesn't leave ways for her to try and escape as a joke and a means to punish her, he's genuinely concerned that she'd try it.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them? If Evelyn did something to prevent/stop a pregnancy or she tried to make him jealous. Although her punishments for escaping are pretty horrific as well.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling? He wants to have as many children with Evelyn as she can possibly give him, raise them all to be perfect models of him and have a legacy. Growing old together is all he wants.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope? Levi 100% just lashes out at the person he sees as a threat and at Evelyn, depending on the severity of his jealousy, the threat might find themselves six feet under. Evelyn is severely punished and forced to remember who is number one in her life.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling? If she's behaving he acts more like a loving husband, giving affection and love. However if she's being bratty he acts extremely cold and stern, ignoring her until she apologies with a blow job.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling? There was no hint that he was even interested in her up until the wedding night. He can't stand the idea of rejection of any kind so he kept it completely neutral until he had her in his clutches.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else? There is not much that changes with Levi, however he does act slightly less unhinged around others. But he's still the same cold and nonchalant Captain he's always been.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling? His punishments range from sexual to physical to mental. Each punishment has to fit the crime. Basic disobedience is a rough fuck and then things are back to normal. Severe crimes warrant beatings and rough sex as well as ignoring her afterwards until she apologizes.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling? Evelyn has no rights, she is a living breathing doll for him. To be used, bred, and treated however he sees fit. She has no thoughts of her own, only his thoughts. She is not permitted to have friends, only who he allows.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling? Levi is willing to wait however long it takes for her to finally break. At no point will he kill or divorce her and move on, he's sticking with this because she is perfection and he believes eventually she'll come around.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on? Absolutely not. He will be nothing more than a shell of a man, fuelled by rage and eventually drinking himself to death to join her.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go? In his deluded mind he believes he's protecting her from other men and the world. She's doing the best he can for her and the outside world will just hurt her, so no he would never let her go or feel guilty.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)? That's for the reader to find out in future chapters of Break Me Slowly ;)

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves? He would much rather her show even negative emotions rather than none at all. He likes that even if it's bad he makes her feel something. It means he hasn't broken her mind to the point of no return.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere? Not necessarily, he's very classic in what he wants (in my opinion). Although it might be different that he wants to share her with children instead of keeping her to himself.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape? Levi is too willing to let things go if she gives in to his affections, he wants it so bad he gets a bit sloppy with his rules.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling? If it's for her own good pain is a good form of discipline in his mind.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over? Levi is desperate to have a "good wife" he'll pay whatever it takes, do whatever he has to to break her mind. It's all a worthy cause.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap? He's been in love with her and obsessing over her since their teens, she was so perfect how could he not.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling? You'll see ;)

#attack on titan #break me slowly #levi ackerman #levi aot #levi x oc #levi x reader #shingeki no kyojin #yandere levi #yandere levi ackerman #yandere levi x reader

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